Right. I’m feeling despair once again. So I’m turning on here to write. This 2weeks holiday is not working for me. It makes me turn on to more slacking and TEARS. I’m becoming from a half-rotten apple to those that u can see worms sticking out of it. I know. Eeww...Right? Hmm..
When I feel lonely, my mind will immediately flick to GRANDPA.
I couldn’t stand this anymore. It is really SPOILING me. When I think of him, my tears just can’t stop rolling down my cheek. I know everyone will go one day but to think of the fact that he’s gone too surprisingly, I just felt that I couldn’t accept this. But I have to learn how to. IT’S DIFFICULT each day trying my best to stop thinking of him.
Whatever I do, I mean most of the things that I do, will reminds me of him. Whenever I cooked, especially his favourite dishes, will remind me of him. Whenever I eat, I’ll stare at the blank seat next to me imagining the times we ate together. Whenever I go to the supermarket or market, I remember the times; he likes to disturb me in the morning, waking me up to go to the market with him. And 1 thing I really regret is that scolding him when he tries to wake me up. YES. I’m a BAD, RUDE, BITCHY granddaughter. I’m really sorry grandpa, really, really sorry grandpa. I miss you so much. Up till now, I’m trying my best to let it go. But I can’t. Even when I sleep, I’ll place his photo right next to me.
Oh gosh. Someone, tell me what to do. This is really spoiling me. Even when I’m in school, I now realise that I’ve not been active as I was before. Cracking jokes with friends, being a little more active in class participation, but I do hope that I’ll change back to what I was before.
Arrggghhh..!! I’m HOPELESS..!! I really feel like dying! Maybe that could solve the problem? Then I can be with my grandpa. I can see grandpa.
